Kitten Bowl II
North Shore Animal League America spokesperson Beth Stern returns to host the championship "game" in this popular counter-programming stunt for viewers who don't give a hoot about the Super Bowl. New York Yankees radio veteran John Sterling will provide color commentary on plays by the 90-plus "cat-thletes" participating, all of which will be adopted out immediately following the game.
2015 Australian Open Tennis
There's a men's champion to be crowned today at Melbourne Park as the Australian Open closes up shop after two weeks of stellar tennis. Last year, Stanislas Wawrinka managed to beat the heat of the Australian summer to beat Rafael Nadal in the final 6-3, 6-2, 3-6, 6-3, thus becoming the first player not named Novak Djokovic, Roger Federer, Andy Murray or Nadal to win a major since Juan Martin del Potro in the 2009 U.S. Open.
Super Bowl XLIX
One of the biggest sports -- and television -- events of any year arrives again, as Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth call the action when the AFC champion New England Patriots and the winners of the NFC, the defending champion Seattle Seahawks, collide at the University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Ariz. Bruno Mars set something of a high bar as last year's halftime-show star, but he has a solid successor: Katy Perry, who's certain to infuse the approximately 12-minute-long performance with her own brand of "Firework."
America's Funniest Home Videos
Tonight's episode features a little boy's giddy reaction to his first kiss, but things don't go as happily for a man who shatters a ceiling sprinkler while turning cartwheels down a hotel corridor. A pair of sadistic parents replace the stuffing in an Oreo with toothpaste to tape their children's reaction. Also: a hilarious montage of soccer mishaps. Another episode follows immediately.
In a bid to compete with a rival restaurateur who always throws a wildly successful Super Bowl event, the Belchers hire a documentary filmmaker and amiable former football star Connie Frye (voice of guest star Jordan Peele) to help them film a commercial. But what they expect to be a no-brainer of a strategy quickly starts to get more complicated in "Easy Commercial, Easy Gommercial."
Asteroid vs. Earth
In this low-budget 2014 thriller, a young astronomer (Charles Byun) discovers that a huge asteroid is on a collision course with Earth and threatens to cause an "extinction-level event." Mankind's only hope hinges on a desperate plan to set off nuclear bombs in the Pacific Ocean, triggering earthquakes that will push the planet off its axis and out of the space intruder's path. What could go wrong? Tia Carrere, Jason Brooks and Robert Davi also star.
In a rebroadcast of last fall's annual Halloween event, "Treehouse of Terror XXV," when Bart (voice of Nancy Cartwright) reads a set of Aramaic symbols, he and Lisa (Yeardley Smith) are hurled into a demonic alternate universe. In a parody of "A Clockwork Orange," Marge (voice of Julie Kavner) begs Homer (voice of Dan Castellanta) to leave Moe's gang, while a send-up of "The Others" finds the Simpsons being visited by their former Tracey Ullman-era selves.
The Great British Baking Show
In the new episode "Continental Cakes," the half-dozen bakers still standing prepare yeast-leavened cakes for the Signature round, then are given two hours to make the Swedish princess torte ... which has 24 steps. Finally, the Showstopper round tasks them with creating a contemporary variation on the classic Hungarian Dobos torte.
Top-secret documents could become public knowledge, much to Elizabeth's (Tea Leoni) concern, in "The Operative." Someone within the State Department evidently leaked the information, which a reporter has -- and is considering publishing. Marital trouble also looms for Elizabeth when she uses Henry's (Tim Daly) professional position as a factor in a negotiation with Pakistan. Bebe Neuwirth, Zeljko Ivanek and Geoffrey Arend also star.
Emmy winner Kyra Sedgwick ("The Closer") continues her guest role in "The Jimmy Jab Games," as her deputy-chief character's initiation of a drug task force causes complications for Terry and Holt (Terry Crews, Andre Braugher). Jake (Andy Samberg) decides to occupy the time of colleagues waiting for a diplomat's delayed motorcade by launching a meant-to-be annual competition. NFL veteran Terrell Owens guest stars as himself.
A certain audience segment is particularly likely to applaud a South Carolina candy company fully staffed by women. Its owner pitches the Sharks, who include Mark Cuban and Lori Greiner, on investing in the firm in this episode. A Utah couple presents a bouncing item meant to appeal to children. An update appropriate for Halloween season details what happened with a Haunted Hayride in which Cuban made a huge stake the previous season. Another episode follows immediately.
On Thanksgiving Eve, a drunken Peter and Brian (both voiced by Seth MacFarlane) scarf down the bird designated for the holiday feast, forcing them to head out in a desperate search for a replacement in "Turkey Guys." In their absence, older son Chris (voice of Seth Green) makes a lame attempt to fill in as the man of the house. The voice cast also includes Alex Borstein, Mila Kunis, Mike Henry and Patrick Warburton.